For Tiger, the next path is clear: Gangsta
I was reading a Huffington Post column on the Tiger Woods saga in which blogger James Moore says the world's most famous golfer is finished.
In terms of his image as a wholesome family man, yes. But what if Tiger were to make an 180-degree swing in image?
What if his current travails led to the birth of a new persona — gangsta Tiger?
Seriously. Turn a negative into a positive.
Not many people are likely to look on Tiger in quite the same way again. So why doesn't he just accept that and become, to paraphrase boxer Mike Tyson, “the baddest man on the links”?
He may even wish to follow Tyson's lead and go with the face tats — reserving prime real estate for sponsors, of course.
Tiger may also wish to make a subtle change to his surname to enhance his new, potent, bad-boy image.
Instead of secret trysts with porn stars, why not have a porn star posse at the tournaments? In a hilarious Daily Show item, Wyatt Cenac (I can't believe I'm using “hilarious” and “Cenac” in the same sentence) interviewed recession-ravaged rapper Slim Thug who bemoaned having to cut down on the number of “video hos” in his shoots.
In Tiger's new life, should this posse be called “fairway hos”?
Commercially (and remember, this is about the Benjamins), this can be made to work.
For example, Cadillac Escalades have some cachet with the gangsta set (from what I can glean; I really don't know what I'm talking about with any of this), so that's one endorsement that should stand. But for the new Tiger, the story line should be reworked so that he was drinking and fought with police at the scene of the crash.
Gatorade is being coy with Woods, but again, reposition. Maybe its slogan for the new, harder Tiger could be, “You gotta problem with that?”
With Gillette, the old slogan “the best a man can get” could be reworked into “the most a man can get,” featuring a photo of Tiger with his lady friends.
That would impress the hip-hop crowd, and that's been a demographic in which golf has been lagging.
I'm in in the early stages of working through this strategy, but I think this can turn out to be a win-win situation for all concerned.
This may sound a tad immoral, just a tiny bit sleazy. You may have noticed I didn't mention Tiger's wife and children in any of this. But folks, we live in a capitalist world with capitalist problems, and I'm just trying to come up with a capitalist solution.
Addendum
The above is satirical nonsense.
For a more serious take on Tiger, check out Stephen Brunt's G&M column – A Tiger's tale. On Friday, the G&M's Ian Brown had Eighteen ways of looking at a Tiger. Also on Friday anthropologist Orin Starn had this in the G&M - What kind of Tiger will emerge from the wilderness?
And he should go with his middle name. Tont. Allow no one to speak to Tont directly. Only by way of a mirror. Or with their backs to Tont. He should ditch all his current sponsors. Fire their pale corporate asses. Tell the world it was their BS, not his. Nike? They can come with him if they like. No biggie. Grow back the beard. Get an earring. Get a big tat, “Earl is Dead”. Fourth round of the The Masters show up in a beater, Lakers shorts, and sandals. What are they going to do? Anyone makes a noise during a back-swing, Tont pulls his Glock.
And he should go with his middle name. Tont. Allow no one to speak to Tont directly. Only by way of a mirror. Or with their backs to Tont. He should ditch all his current sponsors. Fire their pale corporate asses. Tell the world it was their BS, not his. Nike? They can come with him if they like. No biggie. Grow back the beard. Get an earring. Get a big tat, “Earl is Dead”. Fourth round of the The Masters show up in a beater, Lakers shorts, and sandals. What are they going to do? Anyone makes a noise during a back-swing, Tont pulls his Glock.
I like it! :)
I like it! :)